Deadweight Dan

30 May 2012

I wonder

if it is still safe within this realm.

30 May 2012

Your form entrances me

But I know not the holes that lie within your heart.

29 May 2012

“Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.”

Demetri Martin

(Turns out the comedian has other talents as well, like writing this 224-word palindrome poem. The entire thing is a mirror image of itself!)

(Source: pastemagazine.com)

29 May 2012

I’ll bet you’ll see this

But it’s not what will put you at ease

28 May 2012

  • Teacher: Why did you not study?
  • Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.

28 May 2012

the crib’s keeping us down mannn

the crib’s keeping us down mannn

28 May 2012

26 May 2012

It’s just touch, just chemistry, see?

And all the secrets I keep; why are they secrets?

25 May 2012

24 May 2012

(Source: starofcocaine)

24 May 2012

This makes too much sense

wherelifeissimple:

This theory says that there is more behind Nickelodeon’s Rugrats besides being a cute show for little kids to watch. In fact, some people are saying that the show has this whole psychological meaning behind it centering around Angelica having a psychotic break at the age of 3 after having too many traumatic accidents happen in her family at such a young age.

  • All of the rugrats are a figment of Angelica’s imagination. Now that’s not so horrible by itself, but then we learn why Angelica made them up.
  • Chuckie died with his mother in childbirth. This is why his dad is always so worried about him in the show.
  • Tommy was stillborn, making his dad have some kind of break and sit in the basement to make toys for the son he was supposed to have.
  • The DeVilles had an abortion. Angelica never found out if the baby was supposed to be a boy or a girl so she decided to make it twins. Then, she gave them matching names and personas because there probably would have been only one child if there was no abortion.
  • The reason behind these delusions have been blamed on Angelica’s nonexistent relationship with her mother and her manipulative one with her father. Thus, Angelica had no one to turn to when she needed help dealing with the babies’ deaths and resorted to making up the lives they should have lived.

In All Grown Up, Angelica is a bipolar schizophrenic addicted to narcotics and heroin because they help her keep her delusions alive. At this point, we learn that Angelica’s biological mom died from a heroin overdose and Angelica’s disease because she’s a crack baby. Her real mom’s name was Cynthia, hence her doll’s name. The woman from “Rugrats” who was Angelica’s mother is really her gold-digging step-mom who Angelica idolized.

When “All Grown Up” was canceled, Angelica died of an overdose just like her mother.

Dil is the only baby who isn’t fictional. However, Angelica never accepted him as being real and accidentally hit him too hard while trying to make him go away once, resulting in brain damage. This is why he’s such an odd child in “All Grown Up.”

Suzie was actually Angelica’s friend. The theory says that she grew up to become a psychologist and joined the Nickelodeon team to invent the “Rugrats” TV show, finally explaining the origin of the theory.

MY CHILDHOOD RUINED 

(Source: piercingsanddelilah)

24 May 2012

toothbrushalmighty:

A Sex Video That Will Surprise You - Girls Going Wild in the Red Light District


Keep watching till the very end. It’s bloody brilliant, not to mention very moving.

fuck

DAMN.

(Source: feminishblog)